Children and Love


Dec 2017

Children and Love

When I watch some tiny toddlers, I marvel at their capacity to connect with world. They in their pure way ,find associations with words and faces that have never been heard or seen before . I marvel when their parents say,-‘when they come home from school they are shouting the names of their best buddies on the tip of their tongue. So many names…., it seems that they have learnt a new skill of remembering and associating words with meaning and they always express it with strong emotions.

How does this happen? I wonder how these tiny beings born without words become capable of so many different types of connections so early in their life…

They seem to instantly show love and happiness when associated with names of friends and family. Is love and hate something we are born with or is it something we learn after birth? What if it is learned then…..

How does a child learn about love?

No surprise there isn’t a simple answer . Traditional psychologist may say love is learned immediately after birth(— breast feeding) and all relationships follow with fulfilling gratification of self.(Freudian theory)

Sociologist might claim that love is learned through imitation. We see our parents hug us so we hug , we hear kind and loving words so we too use the same to express love .

While these theories undoubtedly have truth in them , Neuropsychologist have begun to speculate where in the brain love lives?

How does this three pound of mass comprehend relationship ……..?

I would like to see this like :-

Let’s look at our brain as if it was a three tier wedding cake,……

Even nature, reflects discipline in every phenomenon. Be it, the rising or setting of the sun, summer or winter, all are subject to law.

Hence using discipline as my tool, I can make even small numbers formidable and bring success to the weak.

The lowest part of the brain , the Reptilian Brain , in the base , it controls basic function eg: heart rate , breathing , blood pressure.. etc.

Curled up around it is the Limbic Brain .Otherwise known as emotional brain .This brain is what weeps, panics , laughs etc..

Rising high above all is the Neocortex brain. This is what makes us uniquely human. It is where IQ lives ….

It was seen that the Neocortex has a lot to do with intelligence but little to do with love. So what is funny is that , both intelligence and love don’t always go together and and can coexist independently…

Love lives in the limbic brain and it’s the limbic brain that changes and grows and finally it forms a mature person (compassionate adult).

When we express through touch, talk and movement, we are able to shape a child, in ways more profound than perhaps we can imagine.

As parents we are entrusted with the basic responsibility of caring and protecting but how we supervise this care is very crucial in a very physiological sense. This goes to say that as concerned adults we play an important role in building the child’s emotional quotient so that our child will grow up to be emotionally strong and this will define how well our tiny tots will later relate to their world….

Physical touch is reassuring and essential for building a strong confident and emotionally balanced child.

So next time we see our child we should make sure we express our love and not hesitate to go ahead and stroke his/her head and be assured that by doing so we are grooming and shaping a personality…

As a special educator and a counselor I take responsibility to provide this love and by teaching and emulating the required behavior such that we create (child)personalities that values love and caring rather than only intellectual geniuses.

Author Details

V. Bajaj
V. Bajaj

Kohinoor International School